Martyr
by G.A. AnimeFan4
Summary: /She has to, you see. If you don't smile, what do you become?/ GinRan. When you lose a comrade, you lose your former life, and a piece of yourself. Hand-in-hand.


Sometimes, Hitsugaya catches himself peering over his shoulder, expecting to find that curled grin. Or his pen ceasing to slide along his paperwork as he feels a chill pierce the air.

Other times, he gets that sensation that he's alone...but shouldn't be. That a pair of sealed eyes should be shooting an illusion-like wink in his direction as Hitsugaya outta be sitting back and scowling, watching as the 3rd Division's _Taichou_ set up some stupid prank.

Every once in a while, the young captain would hear a soft _"Shh~" _echo 'round the halls; a warning.

_(-For what?)_

For anything, really. Not to turn that particular direction, fate will harm ya, little one. Or simply a plea not to rat out the fact that his _fukutaichou_ was about to have a hell of time with that stupid prank.

Not that Hitsugaya ever gave a care as to what the fox did.

Though nowadays, with that same fox left a martyr among Soul Society, the world of the Shinigami just seemed so _empty_.

_(-But why?)_

And those times, when Hitsugaya would feel a familiar hand clasp his shoulder, and obscured, mischievous whispers drifted past his ear, he'd bite his lower lip. Something about that fox had always set the 10th Division's _Taichou _off. He had been a creepy bastard. But after all this time, and having the knowledge that had escaped the Gotei 13 for so long, he couldn't help but to _regret_.

That fox, that immature man, was a comrade, a family member, _nakama._

And that idiot had gotten himself killed.

Hitsugaya frowns deeply, shuddering as that friendly hand ruffles his snowy hair, without moving a strand. Out of instinct, Toushirou jerks his head to stare out the window behind him.

_(-And can you blame him really?)_

When that happy-go-lucky smile is nowhere to be seen, the small warrior settles down a little, spine still rigid.

That fox just had to die, didn't he?

* * *

Kira Izuru hated to be used.

And didn't his captain do just that? Didn't he use his vice-captain's loyalty for his own gain? _Didn't he...?_

Hisagi offered to teach Kira how to drink. That...didn't blow over well. Alcohol just wasn't for a guy of his type. All that was good for was successfully landing him a dark corner of self pity.

And Kira hated to pity himself.

It was weak.

Once Hinamori-kun had recovered for the most part, she'd offered to try her version of therapy. Kira insisted he didn't require such a thing, but Hinamori-kun merely replied, "Betrayal is painful, isn't it, Kira-kun? Sometimes...we all need a shoulder to cry on. Neh?" She'd smiled brightly, forcing a slight smirk to appear on his own face at her kind words.

But talking had made him bottle it up even more. Spilling every one of his inner secrets to a dear friend seemed like such a terrible thing.

And Kira hated to burden his fellow colleagues.

It, too, was weak.

Sometimes, when the air vent clinked or the someone knocked on his door, Kira would snap to his feet. His breathing would increase, expecting the unexpected from his _Taichou._

_(-It used to be a normal thing.)_

Then he realizes that someone will soon be taking the former captain's place. A man named Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi.

Was it wrong, to already dislike this man that he has not yet met?

_(-Kira doesn't know.)_

Sometimes, Kira swears that the empty chair at the in-existent captain's desk would tip back a little, reclining as _Taichou_ would fold his paperwork into airplanes and throw them around the room. Sometimes, Kira swears that his pen has gone missing because _Taichou _felt like being an ass. And sometimes, Kira swears that he can hear _Taichou_ singing his usual "_Bye-bye~!_" and the door creaking closed.

Sometimes, Kira regrets.

And always, Izuru smirks to himself and goes back to his work.

* * *

Every once in a while, Hitsugaya notices that his _fukutaichou_ has disappeared. But he doesn't go to find her. And he doesn't ask her where she'd gone when she returns finally.

Every once a while, Kira notices Matsumoto wandering. But he doesn't stop and try to chat. And he doesn't tell her that what she's doing is worrisome to the others.

No one in Soul Society has the heart to tell Matsumoto straight to her face that she's being reclusive, short-tempered, or silent. No one has the heart to tell her to get her paperwork done or train to get stronger.

Matsumoto herself doesn't have the will to say those things to _herself_.

_(-It hurts...so, so much..._too_ much...)_

"Wake up."

She tells herself this each morning.

"Get up."

Every morning.

"Face the day."

_Every morning..._

"He'd be chiding you now."

And she does. She stands, she dresses, she takes her _katana_, and she greets her _Taichou_, her _nakama_, and the morning with hollow eyes and a hollow smile. In her heart, she knows that he wouldn't be chiding her. He'd be _embracing_ her. Telling her that everything would be alright, that he was sorry, and that she looked beautiful that afternoon.

When the fireworks sound that night, in belated celebration of the defeat of Aizen Sosuke, traitor of the Gotei 13, Matsumoto watches.

She stands with her Captain, Kira, Hinamori, and a few others. Hinamori sheds a tear at one point, still wishing that the past hadn't happened. Matsumoto agrees, secretly.

Hitsugaya-_Taichou_ shoots her a look at one point. Then...he smiles. He rarely does, and Matsumoto is caught off guard. Then he looks away again.

Kira must have seen, because he places a hand on Hinamori's shoulder and beckons to Matsumoto to join them and stop being off by herself.

When Matsumoto forces her feed to move and stand by them, she feels a hand wriggle into her own. Hinamori beams up at her, her other hand locked with Kira's. Momo glares at Hitsugaya briefly, and reluctantly, he takes hold of Matsumoto's remaining grasp.

The few other Shinigami who stand nearby join the chain. They have won the war, and with such great loss yet such overwhelming victory.

They stand, hand-in-hand, bracing themselves for the future as the burst of color and booms pain the black sky. A canvas of hope and pain and relief. Hinamori cries, a smile on her face. Kira holds them back, though his eyes are distant. _Taichou_ just sighs once and stares into the horizon.

Matsumoto grins wide.

No one sees it, but she smiles for all her being is worth.

_(-She has to, you see. If you don't smile, what do you become?)_

And Rangiku _knows_ that the sensation of arms hugging her from behind are there. Not something her troubled mind thought up, but _truly there._

He whispers something, and Rangiku laughs to herself. In her head, she replies a simple "_I know._" and her eyes well up with the tears she hasn't been able to rid herself of. Her hands clench, and Hitsugaya grits his teeth while Hinamori smiles sadly. Kira lowers his gaze.

Rangiku's sorrow disappears with the fireworks that night. As do Hinamori's worries, Hitsugaya's chills, and Kira's resent.

As the night turns cold and dark once more, his arms fade from her skin, and his warm breath on her neck freezes. Her breaths catches a little, but her grin is still present as her tears dry.

Because the memories do not leave them.

Hitsugaya is the first to leave. Then Kira and Hinamori. Along with the others.

Matsumoto turns to follow, and her face relaxes into a gentle happiness.

Sometimes, Matsumoto can't stand it. Sometimes she breaks down, drinks, or runs from her problems. Sometimes she wakes up, thinking he's still there, then remembers his final works to her.

_(-"I'm sorry.")_

She hated that about him.

So why did fall in love with the fox? The snake? The sneaky bastard?

Rangiku herself doesn't know.

Time heals the wounds to a point, but it can't take away the pain for good. She has to live with it.

But Rangiku is fine with this.

A wise martyr once said he didn't want to make the one he cared for cry anymore. He may have failed in his quest, but he did leave behind something special. Something Rangiku would never forget.

Sometimes, it's best to move on, hand-in-hand,-

-_smiling_.

"Right...Gin...?"

* * *

_"I love you, Rangiku..."_

"I know."


End file.
